If you own a BMW, drive it like a BMW

Living in LA, I run into a lot of bad drivers. A lot. In fact, so much that I am more than positive that there are many posts to come about how much I hate driving in LA. Today is just the beginning.

Anyway, one thing that really irks me is slow drivers... but not just any slow drivers. I mean the drivers who drive like a grandpa in a car like this:

It's an insult to the rest of population who would love to be able to zip around in something like that. Even if you are going to drive the speed limit, well, I can't really blame you there for following the law. But at least get up to speed before we hit the next traffic light! If I am accelerating faster than you in my 16 yr old P.O.S.*, there is a problem. Grandpa drivers deserve grandpa cars. Stop making me sad.

*My car is a 1994 Plymouth Acclaim... don't know what that is? Watch this and learn:

I wish my car held 6 big, gorgeous men...

A very dim Glow

Yesterday I attended Glow. The event itself: under whelming. The art was weird and you had to walk half a mile to each exhibit (okay, not really but it felt like that after hours of walking/skipping/holding mario kart races in sand). For anyone considering making a special trip next year to go visit it, I would tell you to save yourself the trouble and go to a local art show. The fact that it's free is the only redeeming quality.

That being said, I had a frikkin awesome time! But mostly it was hanging out and enjoying my friends. And the drunk girl who sat throwing up in the sand 10 feet away from us.

Film of people hanging out at the beach with creepy piano music playing

"Walk to the Ocean"... exactly how it sounds, you walk under lights to the water

Kinda fun, people singing karaoke in a tent. The face is a projection of singer in a balloon

Galaxy defenders

There is a building that I walk by on a semi regular basis. It's along a main road, amidst other perfectly normal buildings. There's some offices, a Pizza hut, stuff like that. Like a strip mall, all the buildings are connected but they all have individual fronts. 

The particular building in questions is all white brick and about twice the size as the rest. There are no windows. There is one door centered in the sea of white. It has a pretty intense handle and simply says ENTRANCE in royal blue letters.

Among all the other buildings, this one stands out. It's creepy and ominous. I've always wanted to go inside, half expecting it to look like the building from Men in Black. Who knows what kind of crazy shenanigans go on behind that mysterious door...

Today I found out that building is just a contact manufacturer. Such a let down.

Why, yes, my hair naturally grows in stripes

The other day a good friend of mine just noticed that I had parts of my hair dyed black. I’ve had my hair this way for some time now but he hadn’t realized (granted, he is a boy).

Anyway, I was just surprised that he had never noticed and wondered how many other people hadn’t noticed so I’m going to share my hair with the world and then no one will not notice again! I stole/was inspired by two dye jobs that I liked. I took the ideas that I loved and came up with my own attempt at an effortlessly cool style. It’s subtle when my hair is down and makes an impact when I pull my hair back.

(I'm really picky about my photos, so the creepy smiley face allows me to skip the trouble of trying to look good)

And regardless of whether anyone else likes it or not, I love it. Every day when I’m done blow drying my hair, I have the passing thought of how awesome it is. To me at least.

Although, I would like to point out that there is nothing cool about walking around the apartment like this for 30 minutes:

 

So far back that it wasn't in the day, it was before the day

Like so many other people, I have friends on facebook who I knew so many years ago and have never talked to since we "friended" each other. I honestly try to avoid that. Just recently I was home visiting the 'rents and I showed my mom a picture of a guy I knew way back when who has since turned into a total hunk. She immediately said I should friend him and I refused because that's just awkward to me. "Hi, I know we weren't that close freshman year of high school and we live in different cities, but you're really hot now. Let's be friends!" If I'm doing that then I might as well try to hook up with total strangers, from all over! (I do love me an Irish accent)

But I digress, this is not what I am here to talk about today. What I am here to talk about is the people that I have already friended on facebook. One of them I just heard from very recently. I found it a little odd that this is the 2nd time I've heard from him in.. 7 years? Although at some point since then we obviously both thought it was a good idea to be friends on facebook so why not. The first time I heard from him was a few years ago. I got a message from him with a basic "I just remembered the time when ___ and wanted to see whats up". I was pleasantly surprised and responded, asking how he was doing and what not. I never heard back so I assumed he wrote me drunk and then decided not to pursue it any further. No worries.

So this second time, while it was just a little comment, still caught me off guard. Mostly because it was about a note (the facebook kind, but what also became my first blog on here) which means that he took a full minute of his time to actually see what I had written (probably because porn was in the title - no judgement!).

There is a part of me compelled to now reach out and say hello (I like to play the catch up game with old friends), but I probably won't if we're being honest (which I always am). But it certainly got me thinking about the good ol' days which I feel like sharing in this now nostalgic state of mind.

This particular boy (L) and another boy (W) lived on my street. Then there were two other boys (M, MM). They were all friends before I so awesomely wandered into their lives. I actually had met MM in fourth grade. My best friend and I both had a crush on him. He liked her, not me. It was a sad time for me. I went to a different elementary school for fifth grade and promptly starting dating Alex Poore, the cutest boy in school. Suck it MM. Sixth grade we all ended up in middle school together.

Honestly, I don't remember how I reconnected with MM but I feel like it was partly through my best friend (who "dated" him up through 8th grade - probably on and off. I don't remember) and partly through L and W because we rode the bus together.

We all became good friends and I became a sort of honorary boy. At least that's how it felt. When all the boys got together at L or W's house, I got to hang out too. I loved those boys and we had some good times. If any of them ever read this, I would wonder if they remember "mango" (I will not divulge our awesome inside joke). I had my first "drink" with them. But you can't even call it that. I think we were in 8th grade (parents, dont judge me) and we were at L's house. He had a bottle of Kahlua of which was poured into a glass. I took the tiniest sip of that syrupy disgustingness and that was it for a few years (raging alcoholic). We also all carved our initials into a tree across the street. I like to take a peek and see if its still there when I visit home. I'm a girl like that.

I remember talking to W and L on AIM (haha, best ever) until all hours of the morning. One night in particular L and I were talking about how we would still be friends 10 years from then and it would be awesome. Well, we weren't friends about a year or so after that. Such is life.

As we moved into high school, it got complicated. Suddenly I was most definitely a girl and they were boys. I think at one point all of the boys had a crush on me. I am not trying to sound vain, but what do you expect when one of your closest friends is female at that age? It was when I started to feel something for one of them and then he went on vacation and came home and it was weird and the whole thing sorta went downhill from there. It didn't help that they all played football and became part of the cool, popular boys. Let's just say I didn't fit in with the popular girl (who of course hung out with the popular boys. Although I was never picked on by any means... it was more this time of my life that I realized I am not your typical female). Anyway, so that was that. We lived out the rest of our high school lives very differently from that point on.

I'm friends with MM on Facebook and I have *never* spoken to him. In recent months I had noticed an odd status update and so I looked into it and found out his mom passed away this year. So tragic. I wanted to send him a message but I felt silly (don't ask why, these human emotions are weird). But I feel for him and was so truly sorry to find out about his loss. We are too young of an age to have to be dealing with the loss of parents yet. I highly doubt he'll find his way over to my blog, but if he, or anyone who knows him reads this, pass on the message for me.

Anyway, there's a little trip down memory lane for you guys. Sometimes when I think back on those boys I wonder if they even remember that period of time when I hung out with them. It was so long ago that I was a part of that group and atleast three of them are still close friends. There's alot of memories that could have replaced those old ones. Regardless, I definitely remember and I am so grateful, as with all close friends I've had (and lost) over the years, that it lasted while it did.


I'm throwing in my 7th grade and senior photos for good measure. It's safe to say that I have blossomed since I left school.

Hissy hiss

The past few days I've had a reoccurring itch on my back between my shoulder blades. Today I noticed there's an area roughly the size of my hand that is really bumpy. I haven't changed my diet, haven't worn any new jewelry... I haven't done anything out of the ordinary. My only two conclusions are...

1. I am having the worlds slowest allergic reaction to nothing...

2. I am turning into a lizard woman

I think I can rock it.

“I don't believe in reincarnation, but I did in my past life.”*

If you looked up contradiction in the dictionary, you would see a picture of me there. I’m a walking, talking, breathing paradox. I literally can full-heartedly agree with both sides of an argument. My dear Italian friend and I were once having an intense discussion about me. He finally just leaned back in his chair, just gave me a look of hopelessness, and stated: “You’re a complete contradiction!”

It’s a talent for sure. I am a complicated and yet simple person. I am such a girl and such a boy. My mom and I like to describe me like a boy in the form of a girl. I love my 5 inch heels and makeup. I love to look and feel pretty. I also love to drink beer, scream at the TV when the Charger’s make a bad pass (or a good one!) and play video games (while wearing my heels and makeup, thank you). I think you get the point.

There has only been one moment in my life where I went completely over to the dark side (which is the girl side, btw). It was awful and I hope to never experience it again (no offense females of the world). When it comes to low points in life, especially low points in love, I am a very level-headed person. Unlike other females, I think with my head and not my heart. No, I’m not a cold hearted bitch without feelings. I feel all of them. However, I can always reason myself through those feelings and come out the other end happy and a little more enlightened.

Then I met that guy. He wasn’t *that* special. I mean, he was, but I eventually was able to realize there are going to be plenty of other special guys out there just like him. See? Reasoning and coming back to reality. Loves it.

To put it simply, we met. We hung out. I had an amazing time (I’m still not sure where he ever stood, but hey, you can’t know everything). I really liked him, and for someone like myself who is very outspoken and outgoing, he made me nervous and shy. I really wanted for it to work out. And then grand ol’ Life got in the way and it was ripped out from under my feet. For those few who were involved in the healing process of that one, I both thank you and apologize. It kinda wrecked me. I cried and I listened to a lot of sappy music. I barely *knew* him! It was completely ridiculous! You know how, in the movies, when two characters come together and by the end of the movie they are in love when in reality they’ve known each other for FIVE DAYS?! Absurd! And yet, I felt like that was me (without the happy ending). I couldn’t believe I was so upset over someone I had barely known. And yet, here I was… a mess because of some guy. I remember saying to my good friend: “I’m such a GIRL right now! I don’t know what’s wrong with me?!”

That one took a while to get over. Aside from the fact that I was completely not myself, I like to have closure in my life and I never got it. Since then I have vowed to never let myself be in that position ever again. I spent a lot of time analyzing what happened and how I ended up feeling the way I did. To break it down into basics:

-I had just gotten out of a relationship, and while I truly was over it, I didn’t give myself a chance to get used to being single again. It was too easy to shift the relationship comfort to another poor, unsuspecting guy.

-Do not ever be friends on Facebook with someone you are casually hanging out with. This is a new rule for me. If it’s someone I already know and then we start dating, I think I will just have to defriend them until after a 3 month period. If something goes wrong, you don’t want their face popping up and staring at you on that stupid news feed.

-I have always had a thing about trust. People are not trustworthy, even those you think are, they aren’t. Maybe that sounds negative but I can honestly tell you that I always know who my real friends are. I totally broke my unspoken rule and put my faith in this boy who I didn’t know. See how that turned out? Exactly.

-I got too wrapped up in the “what could be” and not the “what was”. This was the one that I hated myself for. While there were a lot of great “signs” there, there was also all the big, flashing red lights that this was not a good idea. I chose to ignore those. Mistake.

So, there you go. For a period of way too long in my life I was a full-fledged female. It was a horrible experience and I hope I never go through it again. Since then I am glad to be back to my boy/girl self. I am back to rock ‘n’ roll and all things generally awesome. It feels fan-frikkin-tastic (except that whole unemployment dillio).

Here's a little nugget of wisdom for the boys out there…

If you ever see a girl headed down this road (ie. She tells you that she really likes you and doesn’t want to get hurt) and if you, for ANY reason feel like you can’t step up to the plate, just end it. Talk to her, if you can’t talk in person, call her. If you can’t do that... email, text, facebook… there comes a point when anything is better than nothing. I don’t accept excuses, I only accept actions. Because, despite whatever lip service you give, not saying anything is *choice* and incredibly selfish one at that. So please…

**

As a side note, two Jehovah's witnesses came to my door this morning. I've never had this problem before so I opened the door without checking who it was first and was immediately stuck. Now, when it comes to telemarketers, I don't feel too bad cutting them off with a "sorry, I'm not interested" and hanging up. It's much harder to slam the door in the face of some tiny women. So we talked for few minutes and I kept trying to end of the conversation. Bitch was good. But she finally seemed to agree that no one was going to change my mind about how I feel about religion and it's probably not worth coming back, under the condition that she could leave two little magazines with me. I told her I would read them and I will. It never hurts to see another perspective. But I can also tell you that if I ever decide to pick up a new religion, it's not going to be one that I can't celebrate my birthday.

*Author unknown

**Picture stolen from The Art of Manliness. I haven’t checked out the site yet but I am intrigued and will do so at a later date.