Man Hands

Firstly, happy belated Thanksgiving! I hope everyone got to spend time with family and/or friends and eat way too much yummy food. I know I did.

That out of the way, today's topic: Man hands. It may not be quite what you think. What I am referring  to is a personal ailment of mine that comes along every once in awhile.

In today's society, perfection is the goal. The most beautiful people are not only completely done up in professional make up and hair, but they are photoshop'd to shit so that we are left to compare our average selves to the perfection that is that small group of people. As a result, we are generally left with insecurities, many of them being completely ridiculous, like this one..

I like my hand well enough. They are maybe a little bigger than I'd like (I have pretty long fingers) but they are slender and when my nails are grown out, I paint them one of three colors (black, gun mental gray, or a deep burgundy). I would go as far to say that when my nails are long and painted, and I have my rings that I wear on a daily basis, my hands are down right nice looking. They are feminine and I feel good about them.

I have one problem and that is that when I am stressed, I tend to attack my nails. I also have a slight OCD about nails being the same length. So, this past week, despite it being a holiday, has been a little rough due to some personal problems and, of course, my nails that were looking pretty damn good have slowly been getting shorter by the day. I finally caved, like I always do, and cut them all in order to start fresh in growing them out.

The problem now becomes that my nails are short and here's where my insecurities come in... when my nails are short my hands go from being slender and, dare I say it, even attractive, to short, fat, man hands. They might as well be covered in hair and callouses. I get so uncomfortable about them. I won't even paint my nails because I feel like it will draw attention to the shortness and then to the resulting man hands. I realize that it makes me sound like a crazy person (I never promised I wasn't). All I know is what I feel.

The only good that I can take from this is that, due to my stress tick, I often times realize I am stressed before I even know why. I can't say how many times I have looked down, noticed my nice hands turned into man hands, and I say to myself, "Man, something must be wrong" and then I go on an introspective quest to figure out what's buggin.