It's Official

I am taking the dive and switching to tumblr. You can join me over there..

http://lifelovesarcasm.tumblr.com/

How I accidentally turned a relaxed Sunday into an adventure

So here's how Sunday was suppose to go..


Last night while I was being a hermit, I contacted two friends of mine who I often hike with and proposed a quick hike through Griffith park around 11. Then I would go home, shower, and hang out until I had to work at 5. Easy.


Here's what happened..


It really started with around midnight last night when one of these said friends convinced me to meet up with him at a bar really close to my apartment. Since I had been shut in all day, I decided why not. So I met him and his two roommates at the bar. The hike came up at some point and his roommates suggested bailing on Griffith and heading over to Pasadena for a waterfall hike instead. Clearly it was the better choice (unfortunately my other friend was then unable to make it).


So this morning I met up at their place. They have two adorable dogs, one is still a puppy and this was to be her first hike. Very exciting. We finally got out the door, picked up some Jamba Juice and headed on our way. The most unfortunate part was that because it was a Sunday, it was pretty crowded when we got there. The even more unfortunate part was when I made an ass of myself in front of said crowd.


The hike was just starting out and the trail follows along a river that you cross a handful of times. We had barely started and there was the first river crossing. I was probably about 2/3 of the way across when I was standing on two rocks. They were wet and thus my left foot slipped from underneath me and I fell pretty hard favoring my left side. It happened really fast but there was a moment that I witnessed in slow motion when my right hand swung around to brace the fall and I saw my cell phone in it's clutches.

Why was I holding my cell phone? Well, because I wanted to take lots of pretty photos along the way! Instead I literally watched myself, without being able to stop, as I dunked my phone into the water.


There was an audible gasp from the 20+ people around as I ate it. My friend ran over asking if I was okay. There was a moment where I just sat there thinking, "Oh my god, my PHONE!" and then I stood up and made him dry it off with his shirt (I was 80% soaked). Luckily for me, the cover I bought for it saved my ass again. It happened so fast that the rubber kept most of the water out so there was no visible water when I took my phone apart. However, I took apart all the pieces and put them away to make sure any tiny amount of water would dry. I guess more importantly was that I walked away with a scrape or two and some bruises.


The rest of the hike was lovely. I crossed the river with great success. In some points it was probably a good few feet deep. It ended in a really pretty waterfall with a small pool you can swim in. There were far too many people but I would love to go back on a weekday and really be able to enjoy the view.


On the way back, after crossing the river around 10 times total, we were approaching the location of the great fall. My friends teased me about not falling a second time. When we got there, I looked at the water and then simply stomped across it.. because really it was only a few inches deep. We had a good laugh about how easy that was to just "wade" through. And it was realized that I totally had a Little John moment. (If you don't know this movie and particularly this scene, shame on you and skip to 1:40 to know what I'm talking about)





So we headed on our way home. I was a little anxious because it was 3:40 by the time we were leaving and I had to be at work. I finally put my phone back together and I had four voice mails. One of them consisted of my manager at work calling me to say that I was suppose to be at work at 3 o'clock... and that was as far as I got. I quickly called to explain that I was on a hike in Pasadena and my phone fell in the water so I didn't get the message until right now and I am so sorry, blah blah (it sounded like a ridiculous lie when I was saying it but it was all true).


My friends had my back though and we flew home like the wind. I got back to my apartment, threw on a shirt and hurried to work. I made it by 4:30, not bad by any standards. The only downside was that I felt like I smelled like river, wet dog, and sweat all night. No one said anything but they were probably just being nice.


It ended up being a super fun day but I think next time I'll opt out of falling on rocks, almost destroying my phone, and being 1 1/2 hours late to work.

It's Saturday night part deux

It's been a long week and an even longer past 24 hours. Motivation to do anything today was averaging slim to none. I slept after work and I skipped my last day of this weeks Insanity. I'm giving myself this day (and going on a hike tomorrow. Helps make up for it). As for my crazy Saturday night activities, I came up with the perfect plan: pizza, wine, cake, and a whole lot of gaming.

Nerds everywhere will be proud.

Demi Lovato, I'm sorry

So Demi Lovato comes into my place of work on a fairly regular basis. If you don't know who that is, she's a Disney star.


I was going about my day when I paused and joined a conversation between a coworker and one of my managers near the fitting rooms. Here's the set up:

So the conversation went roughly something like this...


Mgr:  Who was that? Ashley Devato..? Something like that?
Me: Are you talking about Demi Lovato?
Mgr: Yea, I dunno who the heck she is but she was just in here. (Apparently he said something about her getting out of rehab but I missed that)
Me: She's a Disney star. She comes in all the time.
Cow: She's still here.
Mgr: *voice slightly lowered* In the fitting rooms?
Cow: No, she's here. *awkward head nod*


At which point me and my manager both turned around to find ourselves in this position.

Miss Lovato and I made eye contact. We (my manager and I) both turned back around awkwardly and then she left.


My corworker insists that he kept telling us that she was standing right there. I argue that saying someone is in the store is not the same as saying that said someone is standing 5 feet behind you.


It was a totally awkward moment and I felt bad. If there was ever the chance that she saw this I want to apologize for what happened (and please still shop at our store).

Shaun T is my home boy

For those of you who haven't seen it, here's the awesome infomercial for the Insanity work out.





I wonder if I can get a t-shirt even though I didn't actually buy the program..


and yes, you do sweat that much

A Poem

And then she was like, no way!

And I was like, way!

And she was like, nooo waaay!

And I was like, waaaaay!

Totes.

It's Saturday night

So I finished up week one of Insanity. I've spent a lot of the week sore but it's getting better every day. 

My memorial day weekend started out a little insane. I'm going on 37 hours awake with a 1 1/2 hour nap somewhere in the middle there.

It started yesterday at 8 am when I got up, did my work out, went to work, and then was gone for the evening until around 4:30a when I took my nap. I was up again at 5:45a to shower and get back to work, did my insanity work out for the day (which, btw, doing that shit on no sleep is truly insane. I'm surprised my heart didn't give out), showered and hung out with friends. Drove somewhere else to hang out with another friend..

And finally, after coming back home and watching the Season 3 finale to Breaking Bad, I am finding myself snuggled up in my oh, so cozy bed...

To be young.

Screw that.. young or not, I'm exhausted and this sucks. Sweet sleep, here I come.

Insane? Probably

By now everyone knows about the P90X workout.. if you haven't heard, the latest and greatest is the Insanity workout. Same results but in two months. Well, I've decided to take the "Insanity challenge" and, yes, I plan on fully committing to it. Yes, I'm on day 2 and the workout made me want to die. 

But this kind of brute force work out is the kind that I enjoy. Not to downplay yoga, pilates, and other workouts of that nature, but I don't have the patience. I've tried it. It's boring and I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. But doing crazy fast running and jumping, sweating through my workout clothes, and smelling like a football player kinda gets me off.  I think it will be a good two months.

I did take a "before" picture but you will only get to see it if I stick with this and have an "after" picture to show for it. Wish me luck.

Rapture this

I'm going to keep this fairly brief...  

So everyone seems to be freaking out over the rapture in one way or another whether they believe it or not. Here is my argument against both sides. The date for this particular rapture was decided by this man, Harold Camping. He is a Christian radio broadcaster, aka some random guy who believes strongly enough in his faith to "spread the word". 

"In 1992, Camping published a book titled 1994?, in which he proclaimed that Christ's return might be on September 6, 1994. In that publication, he also mentioned that 2011 could be the end of the world." (This is from the wiki article, feel free to read up on his theories more.)

Here's my point: No, I don't think the rapture is going to happen tomorrow. For those of you that are religious, know your bible better. "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." Mathew 24:36 Clearly this means that some random dude is not going to have the answers.

For those of you that aren't religious, please stop ragging on Christianity as a whole. There is a small percentage of people who actually believe this crap and, although I am not religious myself, the entire faith doesn't deserve to take the fall for a few stupid people.

Nuff said.

Practice, practice, practice

My roommates and I all enjoy leaving our front door open on nice days. It lets the breeze in and our apartment gets somewhat poor light, so it basically doubles the amount of light coming in from that side of the room.

Unlike my roommates, I don’t work a M-F, 9-5 job so I spent a lot of afternoons hanging out on my laptop in the living room doing whatever.

And unlike my roommates, I have discovered the one fatal flaw to this otherwise very pleasant activity: I can’t avoid anyone!

I am forced to interact with every shmuck who comes by with a religion or trade to sell. It’s really hard to convince someone that you’re not home when they can clearly see you through the open doorway sitting on the sofa. So I have to be somewhat pleasant, get off my lazy ass, and go speak with whomever and try to politely turn them away in the shortest amount of time possible without being a jerk and slamming the door in their face.

The only bright side is that I’m starting to get really good at it. Practice makes perfect.

HBwhoa

You think I would have learned by now not to leave HBO running on the TV late at night without paying attention. One moment I'm enjoying Sherlock Holmes practically muted in the background while I surf the Internet and the next moment I look up to see..

Bikini Frankenstein
"She's alive...and looking for luscious lovers! Dr. Frankenstein's infamous science experiment takes a sexy turn when he rouses a dead exotic dancer with a penchant for passion in this salacious film."

(everyone knows you watch it for the plot)

Thank you Skinemax.

2 hours of delusion

I have once again made the trek from LA to SD. It was a super long weekend and I am done for. To put how tired I am in perspective, when I was packing my car up for the drive I thought I saw a stag standing in our car port. Yea, there wasn't..

So I'm going to share some of the random thoughts that were thought on this delirious ride home (at least, what I can remember).

1. Relationships are like running. Whether short or long, they will all run their course. Most of us hope to find that partner that you just keep running with until you (or they) finally drops dead of a heart attack.

2. There is a Neon Tree's song called In the Next Room. The chorus goes like this:

Ooh, I lose control
When I hear your body move
Through the walls
In the next room

Essentially, they are talking about some creeper listening to his neighbor having sex all the time and it turns him on. There is also:

I won't take
No no no no no no no no
Oh, I lose controlSo he's going to rape her, eventually. For the win.

3. That's all I've got. I was trying to think really hard about everything that went through my head in the past two hours but my brain has pretty much ceased functioning at this point. I'm a little disheartened by this because I feel like I had more stuff to say...


2 fun facts that I just learned while finishing up this post:

A. Apparently I only type with my first finger on my right hand (and all the fingers on my left hand). I never noticed but now that it's been pointed out to me, I totally do.

B. The QWERTY layout of keyboards was invited way back in the day to actually slow down typists. The machines couldn't keep up with the typing and so they jumbled the letters to mess people up. Chew on that food for thought.

Life, death, and everything inbetween

It's been quite some time since I've written! I got caught up in a somewhat mundane time of my life and didn't feel like there was much worth writing about. Today turned out to be interesting however.

My work is located at the major intersection of Laurel Canyon and Ventura. While at work today, we started hearing a ton of police sirens go by. Next thing we know, Laurel Canyon is shut down and there's police everywhere. Apparently there was a murder suspect who was spotted at a nearby elementary school. It was pretty crazy to sort of be able to witness it so close by. That being said, you can do a quick read up on the conclusion to this semi-epic saga here.

If you didn't get it, that was the "death" part of the title. Here's the life and everything else part summed up in two stories.

Firstly, I stepped on a screw today. Not a tack, a pin, or a nail, but a screw. Here's what I learned about that... stepping on a screw is much worse because of the ridges. They dig in a little more. Honestly, it hardly went into my foot but it was enough that the ridges caught and I had to pull it out. It hurt a lot, I think more so than a smooth object because, I imagine, it tore up the skin more upon exit. Moral of the story: if you are going to step on something, anything but a screw. I'll be double checking later to make sure I am up to date with my tetanus shot (btw, who knew tetanus was spelled tet-anus? I realize my mind works like a 12 yr old boy sometimes).

Second, I went in to renew my drivers license the other day. I had to actually go into the DMV and go through all the trouble of a new photos, eye test, and.. a written test! My god. Everything went smoothly until then. You answer 15 questions and have to get at least 12 correct. I am pretty confident in my driving but that's different than answering questions about it.

So I get the test in front of me and start going through the questions. About 4-5 in I am reading and there's a few that cause me to think "What the fuck?! I have no idea!". So I stress over the next 10 questions and then get in line to get checked. Both of the people in front of me FAIL and have to, not only retake the test, but pay AGAIN and start the whole process over. By the time I got up to have my test checked, I am all but hyperventilating thinking that I am going to get four wrong and have to do this whole shit all over again.

Well, I did pass thank god. But it was an incredibly stressful 5 minutes of my life. I'm pretty sure I had to do all that since it was my first license since being 21 but I hope I don't have to do that again for awhile.

That's kinda it unfortunately.. hopefully something terribly exciting will happen soon that will be cause for a more interesting post.

Jinx!

So my roomie and I are chillin watching TV and we heard raised voices from the apartment below. We discussed it briefly, trying to decided whether it was a fight or people just talking excitedly. It was really hard to tell because the dialog on the TV was enough to drown out exactly what they were saying. We decided we didn't care and gave up, continuing to watch TV.

A few minutes later, there was a pause in dialog on TV and we heard a crystal clear..

"Fuck you!"

We both looked at each other at the exact same time and said, "It's a fight."

Classic.

Much Ado About Mumford

Okay, so I am a fan of Mumford and Sons. If you know them, you know the song Sigh No More.

Here's the lyrics:

Serve God love me and mend
This is not the end
Lived unbruised we are friends
And I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Sigh no more, no more
One foot in sea, one on shore
My heart was never pure
And you know me
And you know me

And man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing

Love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be

Okay. So I was watching a 1993 Shakespeare movie called Much Ado About Nothing. Check it out. About halfway through the movie and at the end of the movie they sing a song that is a love poem by Shakespeare called "Sigh No More, Ladies". Here's the lyrics for that:

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh nor more;
    Men were deceivers ever;
One foot in sea and one on shore,
    To one thing constant never;
        Then sigh not so,
        But let them go,
    And be you blithe and bonny;
Converting all your sounds of woe
    Into. Hey nonny, nonny.

Sing no more ditties, sing no mo,
    Or dumps so dull and heavy;
The fraud of men was ever so,
    Since summer first was leavy.
        Then sigh not so,
        But let them go,
    And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
    Into. Hey, nonny, nonny.

I'm sure you can figure out the connection yourself. I'd also like to point out a quote from the book and the end of the movie...

"In brief, since I do purpose to marry, I will think nothing to any purpose that the world can say against it; and therefore never flout at me for what I have said against it; for man is a giddy thing, and this is my conclusion."


My conclusion: Mumford is a Shakespeare fan.

My awesome pales in comparison to your awesome

So today (technically yesterday) I got a phone call from someone with a very thick accent. I pretty much missed most of the conversation but here's what I did get from it:

- Girl calling is doing production design
- Student film
- Pays
- "High fashion" look
- Email your resume to said email address

So I got off the phone with a kind of "whatever" attitude and sent off the email.

Now, it's been a few hours and I got an email from the producer asking to meet up or talk about the project sometime soon. Great. I don't know anything about it really so I clicked on the website to check out the synopsis and do a little spying on the main crew.

Here's what I got:

- AFI film, with a really fancy website (this is in comparison to the other AFI websites I've seen)
- Writer/director, Producer, DP, Editor, and Story Editor are all extremely good looking people
- Said people from above are almost all from a foreign country, have done something incredibly awesome pertaining towards their current skill, and all around are much cooler than I am
- I pretty much stopped there, I couldn't look anymore

I emailed him back but suddenly I feel very inadequate for the job. The goal is to show up, somehow be 1000x more amazing than I really am, and then be besties with them all so I can jump on their seemingly inevitable future success train.

Okay, first is land the job.

"The DOG? You were named after the DOG?"

The other night I watched Raiders of the Lost Ark with some friends and, aside from a few obviously holes in the plot, we noticed one other important aspect: Indiana Jones does jack shit in the end to actually kill the bad guys. All the Nazi's are killed by the arc while Indiana stands by with his eyes closed.

So today, to continue the series, I watched the Last Crusade (because we all know Temple of Doom is awful). Once again, I noticed that Indiana does nothing to save the day. All he does is retrieve the grail in order to save his father. It's that greedy little ho, Elisa, who crosses the seal with the grail in her hand and, consequently, brings down the entire temple. It's just pure luck that the three good guys manage to just escape with their lives while all the Nazi's are crushed and killed.

Like I said, we all know that Temple of Doom is awful but I looked up the plot on Wikipedia (I've only seen it once or twice). As far as I can tell, the main bad guy dies because he trips and falls off a cliff to be eaten by crocs while the rest of the bad guys are apprehended by the British Indian Army.

I don't know if I consider this revelation a good thing or a bad thing, but it certainly makes Indy a little less bad ass in my eyes. He just has a stupid amount of good luck. Seriously, he should have been killed by now.


Enjoy this one on your way out.. "He chose... poorly."

Grammys: Live

I'm watching the Grammys and I don't feel like constantly bombarding facebook with my comments so I will do it here..

Rihanna's dress is hideous. Sorry.

Ok, why does Christina have a special, red microphone? What has she done recently that warrants her standing out so much? I mean, really? And man.. there was a major diva-off at the end of that tribute.

I love that Ricki Martin has embraced the gay and is wearing tight, silver pants. Good for him.

Lady Gaga's performance? Hmm.. not crazy about it. The FX make up job is cool. I guess its because I'm just not a huge fan of the song. It sounds like a Madonna rip off. I like Lady Gaga because I feel like her songs are unique to her. This latest one feels very pop generic. Slightly let down.

"Three young, break out artist" performing = my chance to take a nap while I wait for something exciting to happen. The only thing I can comment on is that Bruno Mars sounds really good. I don't know his music all that well but, as far as I can tell, he sounds pretty much the same singing live as he does on the radio.

Muse literally just woke me up from what was promising to be a deep sleep with their acceptance speech. It was really awkward. No need to mention Kate Hudson. It's the Grammys.

I'm happy to see Lady Gaga so surprised and happy at winning. Good for her. You might not like her music but I feel like she's very real in the hard work that she puts into her career.

MUMFORD!

Uh Bob Dillon say whaa..?

1. I didn't realize Lady Antebellum was a country singer.
2. She is really pretty.

Okay, really excited about Cee Lo (and Gwyneth). I love this song... AND I LOVE HIS RIDICULOUS COSTUME! He has a muppet band! Best grammy performance, hands down. It's a must see!!



NPH is in the house! Reppin' How I Met Your Mother. I love him.

John Mayer kinda rocks the pirate look but then you look at his face a little closer and you remember who it is. Way to reach for awesome and fail, JM.

Back to Lady Antebellum, I really like that song. I'm happy for their win.

Ahahaha.. Seth Rogan's pot jokes are totally over done but I enjoyed his joke at Miley Cyrus' expense. Especially because she is probably in the audience.

I like Rihanna's dress during her performance with Eminem. It's very cool. It was an artsy way of making it look like it was part burned. I recommend watching the first 40-60 seconds of the performance on YouTube to really get a good look at it. Sorry for my shitty photo. It doesn't do much justice to the dress.

As for the chick who just won best new artist.. I have no idea who the heck she is but her hair be cra-zay! (and her dress kinda fails)

Ok.. so the Grammys started at 8. It's 10:40 right now. My GOD they take forever! This is my first time actually watching the show. This is the last time actually watching the show. Next year I am reverting to my methods of continuing on with my life and watching the highlights later on YouTube.

Congrads Marshall Mathers.

Okay, 3 hour mark.. this is getting torturous. But.. I'm committed and can't back out now.

Arcade Fire just gave me a seizure.

I am not a fan of Barbra Streisand by any means (not that I don't appreciate her very successful career) but I need to say that for a woman who is almost 70, she looks absolutely stunning.

And, although I almost died the first time, congrad to Arcade Fire for winning album of the year and then getting to perform in celebration. That's pretty awesome.

MOST IMPORTANTLY!

I think its finally over. Thank god.

There's nothing like beating a personal best

About 6 months ago I suddenly decided I was going to run in the LA marathon.

Well, that was a joke because (as I quickly found out) I wasn't nearly close to the fitness level I needed to be even to start training. That doesn't mean I have given up on my goal! I will still complete that marathon one day, it will just be a matter of when.

Back to that fitness level thing.. I was fairly active on a regular basis through various activities but I really haven't run regularly in years. So when I started running again, it was really hard. I also have graves disease (a hyper/hypo active thyroid) which caused some problems when I started my running (I have since gone back on medication. No more symptoms means no more interference)

Anyway, taking all this into consideration.. I was running a pretty slow mile.. for what I want to be able to run. It was slightly above "average". For a long time, it didn't improve. It was getting a little frustrating (I think part of it did have to do with my body needing to balance out on my medication) but I love running and I have stuck with it.

A few days ago, I lowered my average mile by about 30-45 seconds. Today, on my third mile, I was a full one minute and thirty seconds faster from where I started. Granted, I know I won't be able to run every mile like that yet. But the fact that I did it and that I am finally seeing progress is the most exciting and satisfying feeling. It took me awhile to get here but I feel like in the next 6 months to come I am going to see a lot more improvement.. hopefully enough to put me in a good starting position to train for 2012!

Bring it.

Dark blah

Fun fact of the day... I spent my superbowl at Tia Mowry's house. If you are part of my generation, you know her from a little show called Sister Sister.

That aside, I just watched a movie called Dark Streets. It came out within the last few years. I netflix'd it because the costume designer came into my class back when I was in school. She was just starting on the project and showed us what she was making, etc. I liked what I had seen costume wise and she played us a "teaser" of the soundtrack (which is all blues) and so I was intrigued..

Final results:

Music = good
Costumes = visually pleasing
Basically everything else = Ehhh

I rated it a "didn't like" on Netflix (that's rare for me). I would say just go listen to some good ol' New Orleans music and google pictures of 1930's night club dancers. You'll be golden.

Not everything God gives is a gift

I am pretty vain about my hair (which is not much of a secret.. it is pretty awesome). I also have been dying my hair for the past 7+ years (also not much of a secret) because it has one defect.. it's not really an attractive color. I used to be blonde and then as I went through puberty, it started to get darker. It decided to stop changing color in that "dishwater blonde" or "ash brown" stage. Both awful names for the complete boring, awful color that is my natural hair.

Anyway, recently I has decided that I was sick of dying my hair all the time so I decided to try to let my hair grow out. The color transition wasn't horrendous as far as I could tell and so I haven't dyed my hair in about 6 months (not counting my black stripes). People in the past week have been commenting how light my hair was getting.. and then I saw pictures from a few nights ago. AWFUL! My old faded colors had turned brassy and gross!! (Btw, thank you everyone in my life who sees me on a regular basis and never thought to tell me)

So, I stopped by the store today and bought a semi permanent color (just to give it a splash) that matched my roots. Well, my hair looks shiny and healthy again and that I am happy about. The part that I am sad about is that hair color out of a box with the name "Ash Brown" is still prettier than my natural hair color..

So sad... it looks like I'll be dying my hair until I go grey.

Virgil, blogs, and bad movies

So I started reading a blog by Johnny Virgil awhile back called 15 Minute Lunch. (It's actually what kinda got me into doing this) He has a similar sense of humor and outlook on life that I hold, so I find him very entertaining. He also has a quote on his page: "Want some advice? Don't love the ocean too much. It doesn't love you back". Well, I always kinda enjoyed it and last night I discovered why. It's a quote from the CLASSIC film.... MEGA SHARK VS GIANT OCTOPUS!!

This movie is awful, which is why it is so wonderful. I feel a bond with Mr. Virgil now... a mutual love of really bad syfy movies.

Is this conversation happening?

Customer: Excuse me?

Me: Yes?

Customer: Do you have any new ones? (referring to a perfect condition, lime green rug)

Me: Um.. let me check.
(after I check)
No. That's the last one.

Customer: Oh...

Me: Is there something wrong with it?

Customer: It was on the floor.

Me: ...

Customer stares at me.

Me: ...well... it looks like its fine.. and it is a rug, which usually goes on the floor anyway, so I think you'll be okay.

Customer: ...

Me: Sorry.

And I walked away.



I saw her later still holding it, I'm pretty sure she still bought it (despite it's floor touching defect)