Non romantic holding of the hands

Recently I went out with some new friends. The bar is not important. What is important was when I arrived, one of the girls was really excited that I came out and gave me a big hug. Okay, fine. I didn't realize we were that good of friends but I'll take it.

Let me just pause to say that I am a very touchy-feely person.. in the right situation. Especially with a significant other I like to hold hands, cuddle, whatever. I really do enjoy the small physical contact with someone I care about. And when it comes to friends, I will give my good friends big hugs and maybe a kiss on the cheek if I'm drunk. But that's kind of it. Ok, back to the story...

So our little group decided to move to a booth across the room, at which point said girl who gave me a big hug grabbed my hand and led me, and others, over to the booth.

So. Awkward.

I have never ever been a "hold hands with your girl friend's" type of girl. It makes me feel all weird and I have to resist my immediate reaction to yank my hand away. I truly don't understand it. I love my friends, they know I love them. I have no desire to hold hands with them. If anyone has some insight on what the appeal to holding your best friend's hand is.. I would love to know. Because it's one of the many things that my own gender participates in and yet, I cannot relate to in any way.

Let me also point out that I have tried. I have tried to be that girl who goes along with it, but it's truly an uncomfortable situation for me. It makes me very squeamish and, even with my solid efforts, I have never succeeded in holding a friends hand for more than maybe a minute or so.

If you wanted to get into the shrinky stuff, you could say that this is a telling sign of greater reasons for why I have never had that many close girl friends. I tend to get along better with guys... but that's a whole other story.


In other news, it is almost the end of another year. 2010 has come and gone. For me, it's been a wild ride. A lot has happened, and not happened. I have met a lot of new and wonderful people just as some friends have fallen to the way side. It was, in the end, a good year. I have no feelings regarding 2011 but if it goes anything like 2010 (maybe just a teeny bit better) then I'll have nothing to complain about.

A few things to look forward to in 2011:
- Officially entering my mid-twenties
- (Starting out) single and ready to mingle
- A really fun gig in Jan
- My brother FINALLY coming to visit me in LA (it only took 4 years!)
- Another year to be awesome with my friends and family

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Happy Holidays

Please examine the following image:

One of these three items is different than the other... I'll give you a hint: two of them say "online only!". These are an image from the Urban Outfitters website. As most know, I work at UO. Especially with the recent holidays, we got an increase of this really annoying situation... people like to call our store and see if we have an item in stock. After wasting my time for anywhere from 5-15 minutes, they like to throw out a "well it says online only but I thought I'd check". What the hell?! I don't know how else to interrupt online only but it pretty much means what it says!

The even better option is when I cant find the item and so I get the number and look it up on the computer myself. Then I get to get on the phone and explain, "It's actually an online only item which means we don't carry it in stores"

There are many variations to this situation, but in the end... it's online only and it is NOT IN STORES. Please don't be stupid. If it says online only, that's pretty much what it means. If you still can't understand that concept, you should not be shopping on the internet. Clearly, you need to just walk into a store so you can see what is and isn't actually available.

On a happier note, I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! Another year is right around the corner and I, personally, cannot wait!

Ugh, morning

It's a foggy early morning. I went to bed at a decent hour and therefore awoke at 6:30 this morning without the need for an alarm clock. Not a bad thing because I need to go run before I head off to work at noon, but it is a bad thing in the sense that I was forced to face both the roommates when I woke up.

Not that I don't love both my roommates, they are awesome people. But I am NOT a morning person. People say that all the time but I think most of them are lying. If you can wake up and function normally, then you handle mornings fine.

I do not function normally when I wake up. It doesn't matter if I slept 10 hours and feel like I'm on clouds, do not try to hold a conversation with me with in the first two hours of my departure from dream land. I don't want to talk and I don't want to have to listen. I just want to eat my breakfast, check emails, and whatever the else I feel like doing in peace. I come off as grumpy because if you try to say good morning to me, I will probably just grumble something back (reference back to "I don't want to talk"). Don't ask me if anything is wrong unless you are attempting to annoying me. And to those people who ARE morning people and very chipper... best that you just don't come around me. I think it's unnatural for anyone to be that happy first thing in the morning.


The only time it is acceptable to speak to me within the first 1-2 hours is for informative purposes... and even then, keep it short and brief and then leave me alone.




Side note: cuddling with a current beau is always acceptable.

"Do Polish women like a brother?"

Today was a fun filled day of Christmas shopping with no success. Still, a beautiful day in LA to be out and about. I was leaving my last stop for the day when a guy coming the other way stops me and asks what my ethnicity is..

"Um.. white. I'm polish and german."

"Wow.. you know.. I just saw you walking my way and I.. ya. So, I have to ask you something.. do polish women like a brother?"

I laughed.

"This is a serious question. I need to know!"

"Uhh, I like all men.."

The conversation then continued awkwardly for another minute or so until he realized there was no way I was going to give my phone number out to a stranger. Mostly because I told him that I don't give my phone number out to strangers.


As a side note, I definitely like black men and all other ethnicities. A sexy man is a sexy man. I don't, however, approve of a grown man wearing a matching terry cloth track suit.

Man Hands

Firstly, happy belated Thanksgiving! I hope everyone got to spend time with family and/or friends and eat way too much yummy food. I know I did.

That out of the way, today's topic: Man hands. It may not be quite what you think. What I am referring  to is a personal ailment of mine that comes along every once in awhile.

In today's society, perfection is the goal. The most beautiful people are not only completely done up in professional make up and hair, but they are photoshop'd to shit so that we are left to compare our average selves to the perfection that is that small group of people. As a result, we are generally left with insecurities, many of them being completely ridiculous, like this one..

I like my hand well enough. They are maybe a little bigger than I'd like (I have pretty long fingers) but they are slender and when my nails are grown out, I paint them one of three colors (black, gun mental gray, or a deep burgundy). I would go as far to say that when my nails are long and painted, and I have my rings that I wear on a daily basis, my hands are down right nice looking. They are feminine and I feel good about them.

I have one problem and that is that when I am stressed, I tend to attack my nails. I also have a slight OCD about nails being the same length. So, this past week, despite it being a holiday, has been a little rough due to some personal problems and, of course, my nails that were looking pretty damn good have slowly been getting shorter by the day. I finally caved, like I always do, and cut them all in order to start fresh in growing them out.

The problem now becomes that my nails are short and here's where my insecurities come in... when my nails are short my hands go from being slender and, dare I say it, even attractive, to short, fat, man hands. They might as well be covered in hair and callouses. I get so uncomfortable about them. I won't even paint my nails because I feel like it will draw attention to the shortness and then to the resulting man hands. I realize that it makes me sound like a crazy person (I never promised I wasn't). All I know is what I feel.

The only good that I can take from this is that, due to my stress tick, I often times realize I am stressed before I even know why. I can't say how many times I have looked down, noticed my nice hands turned into man hands, and I say to myself, "Man, something must be wrong" and then I go on an introspective quest to figure out what's buggin.

It's really that simple

I just had a conversation with a dear friend who is dealing with the end of, what he knows I think, is a bad relationship. He is a wonderful guy.. he has big dreams and I think he will be very successful in his career. He's genuine, caring, and fun. He lives life big and is overall a really wonderful person.

That being said, this girl he has been with thinks he needs to dress better, have more money, get a "real" job, buy her more shit, take her more places... she seems to completely miss the fact that she has such an amazing guy who is willing to do anything for her, and has tried. But it's never enough. I met her once and she seemed nice enough, but hearing all of this makes me want to punch her little 5'2'' self in the face. He is so much better than this girl.

Anyway... I'm not a religious girl but I couldn't help of think of the bible verse Corinthians 13:4-7 (apologies if that's wrong?).. 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

I think that kinda says it all.

Is there an option C?

Okay, so I have noticed an increase in posts on Facebook about the new scanning procedures that take place at airports. I don't travel a whole lot (only because I don't have the money) but I can tell you that what I am hearing really makes me not want to travel so I don't have to risk being practically strip searched.

For those like myself who have been in the dark until now, here's the deal: for various reasons, including random search, people are now being submitted to the new full body scanners. You can watch their video about it here. Now, in the video they specifically mention that the scanners CANNOT store or send images. However, here you can read an article about a group who seems to believe they are being "misleading" or, basically, lying. Clearly there is no hard evidence for this but search google and stuff pops up about scanner photos being leaked. I don't know if any of this is true or not, but if photos were leaked, then obviously they were saved or sent somewhere. If this is the case, I find this really upsetting. The fact that someone I don't know, or have truly given my permission to, is going to see my naked body is really upsetting to me. Even if it is briefly. I am not a prude by any means, but its my body and my choice who gets to see it stripped or not.

So that being said, there is an alternative. You can opt out of the scanners and instead vote for an even more intrusive "enhanced pat down". I tried going on the TSA website and finding their own words on what EXACTLY takes place in the new "enhanced" pat downs. But, go figure, I couldn't seem to find any sort of description anywhere. All I could find was these two descriptions here and here. They are the best warnings found for the kind of pat down you receive. The pages, respectively, state:

"You should be offered a private screening before the beginning of a pat-down inspection if the pat-down will require the lifting of clothing and/or display of a covered medical device."

and

"A pat-down inspection complements the hand-wand inspection. In order to ensure security, this inspection may include sensitive areas of the body. Security Officers are rigorously trained to maintain the highest levels of professionalism.  You may request that your pat-down inspection be conducted in private."

Sensitive areas of the body? Cut the bullshit and just call it what it is, we are going to get felt up. Here is a better description of what happens: "a TSA screener will use a front-of-the-hand, slide-down body screening " From what I can understand in reading various articles... the old pat down's consisted of a "palms up" technique. The new ones are palms down. They now check up the inner thighs, a genital "brush" can be expected, and women get a feel down between their lady lumps. In this TSA blog, they state that pat downs are conducted by same gender employees but in my short time of researching this, that doesn't seem to always be the case.

Ok, so I realize not everyone gets scanned when you go to the airport. However, this is just the beginning and I know that I would feel pretty violated going through either procedure. I realize the issue of safety is at hand, but I have got to believe that we can find a less intrusive way to check for these things. In the meantime, if anyone feels violated during one of these procedures, ACLU is conducting a survey to evaluate the chance of potential abuse of the new airport security. You can fill out a form here.

So, with all that being said.. travel safe these coming holidays. I'm just glad that I live a mere two hour drive from my family.

Drill bits, screws, and hammers.. oh my!

So here I am on a Thursday night watching Hidalgo on AMC. God only knows why since there are commercials every 10 minutes and I own the movie. Anyway, so a commercial comes on for the Jawhorse.

It is the latest and greatest in workbench technology! It holds that wood like no other (heh heh). Anyway, aside from the fact that it's a waste of money because all you really need is two stands and some clamps, what I really want to talk about is the commercial itself.

Unfortunately I couldn't find the one that aired for your viewing pleasure but it was nothing all that special. It's some manly sounding man talking about how awesome the Jawhorse is while showing clips of your average dad at home doing construction projects around the house. Maybe a few on actual construction sites too.

There was ONE woman who showed up in the commercial. It was specifically during the part when they talked about how EASY it is to set up (the Jawhorse breaks down for convenient traveling!). She is pulling all the legs out on a driveway. That's it. That's the only woman.

I'm realistic, most women do not do construction projects. Personally, I don't know tools. I know the basics: drills and screw drivers. Easy stuff but that's about it. However, that does not mean that I can't operate other tools, I just need to be shown how.

So to get to the point, either fairly represent women in the commercial or don't do it at all! I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it if there hadn't been any women present. I also wouldn't have thought twice if there had been women in other scenes, such as completing a project with her husband. But to throw a female in for that one scene... please. I felt like "So easy, even a woman can do it!" needed to flash across the screen in red.

I can't say I am even pissed off about it but I definitely noticed it. It drew my attention because it is subtle stereotypes like this that really form and influence the way people think. Not just for women but for sexual preference, race, religion, what have you. People in general need to be more aware of how they are representing others. Welcome to the 21st century people, women can construct and men can sew.

And frankly, if you are the kind of narrow minded man who thinks that I can't handle tools because I am a woman... I have a hammer and I can be very creative.

Be nice to the produce

Today I was at my local Trader Joe's picking up a few items. I buy a lot of fruit and vegetables, of which I am really picky about. I don't like bruises or little cuts. I realize that this is a weird, OCD-like thing but they really gross me out. So I am really careful when I pick my food out to make sure I get exactly what I want.

All this time and careful inspection leads me to one of my biggest pet peeves at the grocery store... when the cashier SLAMS or DROPS my food while they are ringing me up. It drives me insane! It's never just one item, it's a certain type of person and they will do it to every item. By the end of the transaction I've practically developed a twitch while watching it happen. After spending the time to pick the perfect fruits and veggies and then the cashier goes and ruins them. I can see the bruises forming in my mind with each bump.

The only thing that keeps me from saying anything is the risk of sounding completely insane. By the time I am ready to open my mouth, I am usually already all stressed out and don't know how to politely and calmly ask them to be more gentle.

I don't even understand why it has to be asked. Why would you go and throw someones food around? I guess it's one of those things, some people just aren't the most gentle. I had a roommate once who was about 5'6''ish and couldn't have weighed over 125lbs. She didn't walk around the apartment, she stomped. You would have thought there was a 300lb football player in the room and yes, she seemed totally unaware of it. I think it's like that. While they are practically spiking my food into the other end of the checkout, the cashiers who do it probably aren't aware that they are so rough with my produce.

Luckily for me, today wasn't one of those days. But every time I shop, it's certainly a gamble.

Fuzzy tipped paper sticks

Q-tips are ridiculous... honestly. First of all, how did they even come up with that name? Where does the "Q" come from? There's cotton at the end of the tip, C-Tip seems way more appropriate (though that sounds really dirty). Ridiculous. I decided to turn to the highly reliable website, Wikipedia, and found this little piece of information:

" The cotton swab was invented in the 1920s by Leo Gerstenzang^[1] after he attached wads of cotton to toothpicks.^[2] His product, which he named "Baby Gays", went on to become the most widely sold brand name, "Q-tip", with the Q standing for "quality". The term "Q-tip" is often used as a genericized trademark for cotton swabs in the USA. Although doctors have said for years that usage of the cotton swab for ear cleaning is not safe, that use remains the most common."

Leo, why did you name them "Baby Gays"? That makes no sense. How it turned into "Quality Tips" is really just as absurd. Unfortunately for us, Wiki didn't have an answer to that question.

As for the use of the QT, I use them for my ears. I don't know anyone who doesn't use them for their ears. The reason doctors tell you not to do that? It's USER ERROR. People like to jam the QT in their ear and damage their ear drum. Do people not know how to be gentle?! I don't understand how it's not common sense to approach with gentle care. Still, like most companies here in the great US, they have to protect their asses from being sued due to the idiocy of people and therefore QT are officially NOT for cleaning your ears.

So what are they for? This is taken directly from the QT website:

1. Family care. "Q-tips^® are convenient family care tools for those hard-to-reach places." 

Okay, family + QT + hard to reach places = somewhere I don't want to go. I don't know what they are thinking but nothing I can think of seems kosher.

2. Home care. "Q-tips^® cotton swabs are perfect when you want to clean anything down to the last detail. They are a great tool to use anywhere around the house, from cleaning to touching up in those tiny hard-to reach places."

Really? This makes using a tooth brush to clean the kitchen counters seem like a dream. Think of all the coverage it gets compared to a QT!

3. Art projects. "Perfect for experts and even art novices, Q-tips^® cotton swabs are perfect for any art project. Whether creating a child’s masterpiece or doing touch-ups on delicate paintings"

That's what paintbrushes are for. Bottom line. Unless I am going to use my QT as my poor man's version of Lincoln Logs, I can't imagine any art project that these are essential.

Already?

Am I the only one in shock that it is already November? 2010.. where did you go? Now that Halloween has come and gone, the rest of the year will simply fly by with the rest of the holidays. It's like that every year.

Anyway, I experienced the West Hollywood carnival/parade/whatever you want to call it for the first time this year. It was pretty awesome. My friends and I dressed up as post apocalyptic Super Mario Bros. We got a lot of positive feedback on our costumes. We took lots of photos, saw lots of amazing costumes. We left around 10, which was perfect. It was about an hour before the whole thing closed and it went from being crowded to being ridiculous.

The only disappointing part was when we saw other people dressed as Mario and friends. We got really excited and so many of them seemed really weirded out. As a group we came to the decision that the others, with their store bought costumes, were intimidated by our bad ass, home made costumes. There was on group that were Mario Kart, they all dressed up as their characters and then had little cars hanging off their waists. It was AWESOME. They were just as impressed with us as we were with them. That was a great moment to end the night.

On a side note, I am watching Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday. It was made in 1993 which is clearly reflected in the thong worn at the beginning of the film. The waist of the thong literally reaches her belly button. Classic. The rest of the film is pretty ridiculous... they blow up Jason at the very start. The man doing the autopsy gets this overwhelming urge to eat the heart, becomes possessed with the essence of Jason, and then.. well, I am still watching so I will have to tell you the exciting end later. Something tells me he goes to Hell..

Home Sweet Home

There's nothing quite like visiting the old fam' and, on this particular trip, reuniting with an old friend. I always have a good time. It's great to get away from the craziness that is living in LA even for a day or two.

However, nothing can compare to the feeling of coming back home. Driving north on the 405 tonight at 11pm, I came up to the Washington/Venice exit and almost immediately the amount of traffic on the freeway tripled. As much as it annoys me, it's annoying in a very comfortable and familiar way. It's the city's way of saying, "welcome back Sara, we missed you screaming at other drivers and shooting your heart rate through the roof". There is a lot about LA that you can hate, but there is also so much to love. Regardless of either, it's my home and it has a special place in my heart. It's like your first car, 10 years old and a piece of shit. You hate the fact that you don't have heat in the winter or it can't go above a certain mph going up hill, but you still love it for all it's worth.

That is how I feel about this city. For better or worse, I love LA. No matter how good of a trip I have visiting family and friends down south, I love being back home sweet home.

That's my girl

Today is National Pit Bull Awareness day!

It was started by a group called Bless the Bullys back in 2007. The idea is to raise awareness and educate the public on Pit Bulls. While I don't own a Pit myself (I will when I can afford it one day), my family has a Pit who is the sweetest thing I have ever met. Meet Maddie:

The weird blur is a sock with a knot in it (falling). She has a couple of other toys that she could give a shit about but when it comes to her socks... my god, she goes ape shit. It's adorable.

Anyway, I am going to share some "facts and fiction" about Pit Bulls that I stole from the Animal League America website. I also encourage you to look up the breed more thoroughly yourself and find out just how amazing (and loving and sweet) these dogs really are!

There is no such thing as a "bad breed".
The pit bull breed gets a bad rap, but more often than not, they are the VICTIMS of irresponsible and abusive ownership. Pit bulls are extremely intelligent dogs and take their cues from the humans who raise them. Only humans are capable of knowing the difference between “right and wrong” and all dogs are bred, raised, and trained to behave the way they do.

Pit bulls are actually bred to be affectionate towards people.
Pit bulls have been bred for hundreds of years for strength, agility, high pain tolerance and absence of aggression toward humans. Because they were traditionally fighting dogs and most were also family pets, the dogs required extensive handling. So even though they were bred to be aggressive towards other dogs, aggression toward humans has never been tolerated.

Bull breeds score better on temperament tests than the general dog population.
In December 2004, the American Temperament Test Society showed the American pit bull terrier scored an overall temperament rating of 83.9%, compared to the 77% score of the general dog population.

Most “pit bulls” are not really pit bulls!
Pit bulls are probably the most misunderstood dog in the United States. Often, an aggressive dog that has a big head and short hair is mistakenly identified as a pit bull and unfortunately this makes for good headline news, even if it is false. Do you think you can identify a pit bull? Take this quiz and see how you do.

Pit bulls love and adore humans.
Most pit bulls in this country are family dogs and love to spend time with people more than anything else. Often, even those that have been severely abused can't wait to be petted and loved, even by the person who is abusing them. Of course, there will always be exceptions to normal temperament and behavior in any dog, and the same is true of the people who own them.

Pit bulls are bred to fight.
This is very important to understand. Pit bulls love humans, but they need to have very responsible owners who will be vigilant all the time and will not allow them to fight with other dogs, ever. Pit bull owners must be extremely receptive to canine body language and know that the responsibility of their dog with any other dog ultimately depends on them.

Animal cruelty ends through humane education.
The humane education process must start with children so that they will grow up understanding how to treat dogs and other living creatures. Through our Humane Education programs North Shore Animal League America representatives visit schools and day care facilities and offer shelter tours to children’s groups to teach children empathy to fellow living creatures.

Have you loved a Pit today?

Can't get depressed until the sun comes out

Good job Los Angeles.... it's been cloudy and grey for a week. By my apartment (where I've been holed up both working and slacking) it hasn't even rained during the day. Every day is the same cloudy and medium grey. One week.


Let me point out that I also just repainted my room a darker blue/grey. Really pretty. I love it. But between the new color and the weather, my room in particular has been really really dark for the past week (it's almost black at noon with my shades closed although it makes sleeping in really easy). Better not get sad until the sun comes back out to play.


In the meantime, stay happy LA with these wonderfully ridonkulous ways to "keep your insanity"...

1.  At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars…see if they slow down. 

 

2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 

3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

4. In the memo field of all your checks, write ‘for marijuana’.

5. Order a ‘diet water’ whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

6. Specify that your drive-thru order is ‘to go’.

7. Sing along at the opera.

8. Five days in advance tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you have a headache.

9. When the money comes out of the ATM scream, “I won! I won!” 

10. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.” 

11. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter, and ask where the fitting room is.

Coolness level has not improved

Saw this commercial for the first time today...



Hi-frikkin-larious. 

I'm not sure what exactly it is about this commercial that I love so much, but I think it's a mix of the GIANT hair at the end and the way he so sadly says "yes..."


On a side note, there is a teal Windstar (van) that parks on my street. Today I noticed it has a Harley Davidson sticker on the back window. I don't know who actually owns the van, but putting a Harley sticker on a minivan does not make you a bad ass. You are still driving a minivan... and it's teal.

Oh, yes

Last night was a reminder... after two weeks of non stop activity, then having a long day of volunteer orientation, walking around downtown LA, working, accidentally skipping dinner and finally going to a bar... the alcohol will hit you a wee bit harder than usual. 

Win.

There is no f***ing secret

Kelly Osbourne is a celebrity that, as we all know, lost a ton of weight earlier this year. She looks fabulous and I sorta have a girl crush on her now. My favorite part when it all happened was everyone trying to figure out her weight loss "secret". The big secret? Diet and exercise! Surprise surprise! 

This particular topic is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I hate when girls express, in any form, a sort of jealousy about how tall and thin I am. YES, I am naturally tall. NO, I am not naturally thin. Just like Kelly, and every other celebrity out there, there is NO SECRET. It's all about living a healthy life style.

I run 4 times a week and I eat healthy. Lots of vegetables. I don't drink soda or other sugary drinks. I try to limit my candy/cake/ice cream intake (and when I don't, I gain weight like everyone else). I don't keep "snack" food in the house, including crackers, chips, cookies, etc. I snack on things like celery or carrots. I also don't starve myself! Depriving your body of food DOES NOT cause weight loss. It only makes your body store more body fat because it doesn't know when it will get food next.

Don't believe me? A few years ago I was 20 pounds heavier and about two sizes larger (I have photos). I ate like shit and spent a lot of time sitting around. When I reached the big 1-5-0 in weight I finally got fed up and joined a gym. Since then, I am constantly working on improving my routine and giving my body what it needs to stay fit and healthy.


All that being said, stop with the jealous remarks and the self loathing. If you don't like the way you feel or look, then DO something about it! People do it ALL THE TIME. It's hard, it's tiring, it's not always fun. But that's life. For anyone who knows me, you know I am a huge believer in taking responsibility for yourself. You have no one else to blame but yourself for the choices you make when it comes to food and exercise (and most things in life). I've said this before but I don't accept excuses or lip service of any kind. I only accept actions. Put away the cookies on your lunch break and go for a 30 minute walk around your building. Don't like running? There is hiking, yoga, swimming... possibilities are endless. Have celery and almond butter (so good) instead of a bag of chips. These are small decisions that all add up to huge results.


I also want to point out that I am NOT saying everyone has to be super thin. I am a total believer in embracing and loving your body for what it is. Curves are sexy. I, personally, love mine and love to show them off. I just want people, especially women, to love who they are. I also want people to redirect all that energy they use whining into being productive.

Like Nike says, "Just do it."

Negative by how much?

I think today has been a result of 10 long days of production proceeded by two more days of moving furniture, heavy cleaning, and repainting my room. Then to top that off, I dropped my laptop on the power cord while charging and broke the plug. So now I am using my roomies laptop while I attempt to have mine fixed. That's starts me out at a -100 points.

I had a busy day planned, all very carefully laid out. It started out wrong when I woke up 2 1/2 hours later than planned (-50 points). Apparently I was tired enough to sleep through my incredibly annoying and loud alarm that was sitting right next to my head. I had to jump out of bed and run out the door without showering or eating (-25 points). I was still a half hour late to where I was suppose to be at 10. Where I needed to be sucked too. I had to drive 40 minutes into the city to pick up two patches because they needed to be returned to Universal.


So I pick them up and start the trek back to the valley. I stopped at Goodwill to drop off a bunch of stuff I wanted to get rid of (+50 points). Then I stopped at Target on La Brea and whatever the crossroad is. Then I realized, oh shit... I dropped off my returns at Goodwill (-25 points). Damn. I wasn't about to drive all the way back down La Brea, out of my way, to pick it up. I figure I would just eat the cost.


So I trudge on up to Universal. I was making a turn off La Brea onto Franklin towards the freeway. There were no other cars around. After I rounded the corner, there was a guy on the other side sitting at a stop sign to make a left turn (into my lane). I was watching him because I have been in two major car accidents in which, BOTH times, I was T-boned when I had the straight through and the other person was at a stop.


He pulled forward a little then stopped. I couldn't see his face but his actions suggested that he had seen me coming. Then out of no where he GUNS it straight at my car to beat the traffic that was coming the other way. Thank god for my paranoia because I saw him coming and totally not looking in my direction. I had to lay on my horn and swerve into the next lane. He looked at me like a deer in headlights. Dumbass. (-75 points)


Next I made it to Universal to drop everything off. Thankfully that went without a hitch. I was really craving chicken and so I used Yelp to look up "chicken". The second choice is gave me was Lotus Vegan(-5 points)... only in Los Angeles. So I sucked it up and drove over to the California Chicken whatever that is back by my apartment. Lunch was quite satisfying (+25 points). Thank god.


Next stop was at Buffalo to attempt to sell some shit. I opened my trunk to grab my bags and, lo and behold, there's my Target return. Not sure if that makes me awesome or a failure (my mom agreed on failure) but I'm glad I can do my return (-25 points for failure). Not that I don't love to help out by giving stuff to Goodwill but I don't want to PAY to give them stuff. I can't afford that.


So I get inside and there's only 3 people in front of me (+25 points) but they all have a CRAP ton of stuff (-30 points). I sit on the phone with my mom for the bazillionth time today because I'm bored and ponder over whether I should run across the street and get coffee or wait.  It's pretty slow so I decide to take the chance. I grab my bags and scurry across the street. I got a pumpkin spice latte WITH whipped creme (+25 points) because it's been that kind of day. On my way back, I think I see two more people in line. When I get inside, there's actually about 6 more people in line (-50 points). Awesome. At least I had my latte to keep me company. I finally get up to the counter and they reject a lot of my shit (-20 points). But I did get about 30 bucks to spend (+30 points) but there was nothing I wanted today (-10 points). 

I still need to take my computer in but I feel so gross from running around and not having showered yet today. I came home and figured I would take a little break since I have to work tonight. Plus I have some wrapping to do still for this last project.


Anyway, I haven't been keeping track of my points but as far as I can tell, today is still in the negative. It's just been one of those days.

I leave you with this... the Google search of pit bull puppy pictures. Because they are so cute my heart hurts.

"I merely chewed in self-defense, but I never swallowed."

Unfortunately my life has been unadventurous as of late. I was working on a project and as a result, very busy for the past week. This week is no different. I have lots of projects that need to get wrapped up. Blah blah, boring boring. 

I'm wasting a little late night time watching Dragonheart on TV. Classic movie. I was about 9 years old when it came out and was definitely a favorite of mine growing up.

Let me just say, it is still completely enjoyable. It's incredibly cheesy. The bad guys are wiped out by getting clothes lined by tree trunks and shot in the butt with arrows. You can't top that. Quaid as the jaded knight and David Thewlis (more well known as Professor Lupin in the Harry Potter movies now) playing the crazy prince. You know he is crazy because he spends the entire movie with eyes so wide they look like they are going to fall out of his skull. Oh, let us not forget that he kills his own mother. Bastard.

The only thing I think he did right was (as a redhead) try to mate with the hot peasant chick, who was also a redhead. With the declining redhead population, she should have taken one for the team and just gone with it. Just sayin...

But I digress! This movie is wonderfully bad. You can't really beat the sexy voice of Sean Connery as the dragon. The dialog is silly and, like I mentioned, they play on the idea that a hurt bum is enough to knock out the "bad guys". I think I adore this movie even more than when I was little because I can actually understand what's going on.

If you haven't seen this movie recently, I suggest you rent it. I just watched a man get taken out by a basket. Win.

Dear Mister Creepy Stalker Man...

News Flash: Not interested. Give it up.


Not so much love,

Me

Self Explanatory

The scene: Relatively fresh to LA, 18 year old Sara is working a mid morning shift at the Sbux. A middle aged, overweight, creepy guy walks up to the counter.


Me: Hi, what can I get for you today?

Guy: [Insert order here]

Me: Great. That'll be $__. *proceeds to write order on cup and ring order*

Guy: Does anyone ever tell you that you look like Maggie Gyllenhaal?

Me: Yea, sometimes.

Guy: My favorite movie of hers is Secretary.

Me: .... Okay, have a good day. Next customer? Hi...

Bonding in the H-Depot

Base camp was at a Home Depot parking lot today. Ren and I walked over to go to the bathroom and danced our way through the store.

On the way out, we passed a guy who, when I looked over, threw his arm up and started dancing. I gave him a weird look (unintentionally) and he came back with "What? You ladies don't wanna dance anymore?" It was a good moment.

I'd like to finish this blog by just sharing how FRIKKIN EXCITED I am for Halloween this year!

Bad dog

I am sitting around waiting for tomorrow's call sheet to be sent out so I can go to bed already. They better send it soon or have a later call time, otherwise I am going to be cranky tomorrow. In the meantime however, I decided a blog was called for despite a lack of anything really exciting to blog about.

Earlier today I had an offer to go see Jack Johnson on Friday. I can't due to filming so it's not so much exciting but disappointing. I did suddenly remember this lovely little story though so I hope you enjoy:

I was going up north with a bunch of kids for a shoot about two months ago. We stopped to pick up our last guy who happened to be the proud owner of two precious dogs. While the boys were loading the SUV, a few of us were playing around with the dogs. I was chillin and talking when I suddenly felt something warm on my foot. I looked down and one of the dogs was peeing on me. Did I mention I was wearing sandals? Good times.

DO NOT dip your hands in the bugpoo water

I was at the gas station and just chilling. I watched the guy in front of me finish pumping his gas, walk over to the squeegee water and dip his fingers in the water to rinse them off. He dried them and walked away like it was no big deal.

The squeegee water.  The same squeegees that are not only a. part of the trash can but b. clean bug guts and bird shit off your windows and then get put back INTO THE WATER in which he just dipped his hands.

I'm not a germaphobe by any means but there is something fundamentally wrong with that situation.

It gets better, SO much better

In light of the many recent suicides of gay teens, celebs and organizations have started a quickly spreading campaign "It gets better". I think it is SO vital that young kids know this and that we all do our part to spread love and acceptance.

Growing up is brutal. For those who had or are having that movie-like high school experience, that's awesome. But what about the rest? I, personally, had an awful high school experience. I was never bullied or picked on, I had various friends over the years, and made good grades. But, and while I'll share a lot I won't go into details about this, I can tell you that I was pretty much miserable the whole time. It was a four year low point.... I felt really sad and, most importantly, alone most of the time.

But, like everyone says, it DOES get better. It gets a million times better!!! I took moving to LA after high school as my opportunity to cleanse my life of all the bad and start over fresh. It was the best thing ever. I love my life and my friends. When I think back to high school, it feels like the life of someone else. It's so insignificant.

And, no one is ever alone! There are so many places for people to reach out and get help. And it is SO important that they know they *can* get the help and that people do care. I can tell you that the worst thoughts you can have is to ask yourself "would anyone care if I was gone?" and not know the answer. People DO care and suicide is NEVER the answer.

And please please please be the example. Don't say things like "that's so gay" and don't be afraid to call out your friends when they are spreading homophobic ideas, even if it's a "joke". You never know what effect you can have on another person. Overhearing something negative can be fatal to someone who is struggling.. just like a genuine smile can make some one's day.

Much love to all. Stick around... life is beautiful!!

Can I keep it?

My roomie and I were watching City of Ember (thank you HBO, for exposing me to such gems). We caught only the last 30 minutes or so but basically the city is underground and fueled by blahblahblah.. doesn't matter. What does matter is the bad guy runs into some sort of safe room and locks himself in. Then he turns around and a GIANT MOLE comes out out and eats him. It had a big, pink tentacle face and was really ugly.

Roomie: It's a giant mole!

Me: With a tentacley face!

Roomie: Ya, there's moles that have that.

Me: Really?! Noo!

Roomie: Yes! Look it up!

So I did. And there are. They are called Star-nosed moles and they pretty disgusting...

Maybe you all have heard about them but I had no idea. Anyway.. I leave you with this lovely photo. He's blowing bubbles underwater to smell his food.. or something.

You can never be a pencil.

Yesterday I watched a guy (alone in his car) impatiently drive up behind me on the freeway (I was cruising about 80) and then move over into the carpool lane to go around me because 80 just wasn't fast enough.

I, in turn, shouted "You are not a carpool lane, asshole!"

This was true. He was not a carpool lane though there's not much to be done about that.

Chocolate is a girl's best friend

"Some love stories aren't epic novels, some are short stories. But, that doesn't make them any less filled with love."

Probably the only good thing to come out of the Sex and the City movie.

That aside... I've been a single woman for a few months now. It's taken up until a few weeks ago to really be O.K. with being single. It's like gaining and loosing weight. It's really easy to gain weight, as it is to fall into the pattern of a relationship. It's much more difficult to loose weight, just as it takes a lot more time and effort to get used to being alone. But I made it and I am on the prowl to find a new man. Though I have tons of theories about dating that I don't need to go into today. Here's the basic 411: I believe that the relationships that are meant to be, the ones that are going to last longer than 3 months, are the ones that develop on their own.

Call it a connection, spark, whatever, when you meet someone that you are truly compatible with, there is just something there. You can argue that if you want but I know it to be true because I've experienced it. Yes, being single is kinda lame. Scratch that, it down right sucks. I am the type of person that is made to be in relationships. I am looking for that one guy that I will, hopefully, spend the rest of my life with. Consequently, casually dating just doesn't do it for me. Since my adventure back into singledom, people have been "encouraging" about going out with different guys. Whether it be old friends or someone new that I meet. While I appreciate the concern for my love lacking situation, I keep reminding everyone that when it happens, it happens.

In the meantime I need to stop hanging out with so many of my guy friends (I love you all but you cramp my man-picking-up style) and will continue to eat lots and lots of chocolate.

If you own a BMW, drive it like a BMW

Living in LA, I run into a lot of bad drivers. A lot. In fact, so much that I am more than positive that there are many posts to come about how much I hate driving in LA. Today is just the beginning.

Anyway, one thing that really irks me is slow drivers... but not just any slow drivers. I mean the drivers who drive like a grandpa in a car like this:

It's an insult to the rest of population who would love to be able to zip around in something like that. Even if you are going to drive the speed limit, well, I can't really blame you there for following the law. But at least get up to speed before we hit the next traffic light! If I am accelerating faster than you in my 16 yr old P.O.S.*, there is a problem. Grandpa drivers deserve grandpa cars. Stop making me sad.

*My car is a 1994 Plymouth Acclaim... don't know what that is? Watch this and learn:

I wish my car held 6 big, gorgeous men...

A very dim Glow

Yesterday I attended Glow. The event itself: under whelming. The art was weird and you had to walk half a mile to each exhibit (okay, not really but it felt like that after hours of walking/skipping/holding mario kart races in sand). For anyone considering making a special trip next year to go visit it, I would tell you to save yourself the trouble and go to a local art show. The fact that it's free is the only redeeming quality.

That being said, I had a frikkin awesome time! But mostly it was hanging out and enjoying my friends. And the drunk girl who sat throwing up in the sand 10 feet away from us.

Film of people hanging out at the beach with creepy piano music playing

"Walk to the Ocean"... exactly how it sounds, you walk under lights to the water

Kinda fun, people singing karaoke in a tent. The face is a projection of singer in a balloon

Galaxy defenders

There is a building that I walk by on a semi regular basis. It's along a main road, amidst other perfectly normal buildings. There's some offices, a Pizza hut, stuff like that. Like a strip mall, all the buildings are connected but they all have individual fronts. 

The particular building in questions is all white brick and about twice the size as the rest. There are no windows. There is one door centered in the sea of white. It has a pretty intense handle and simply says ENTRANCE in royal blue letters.

Among all the other buildings, this one stands out. It's creepy and ominous. I've always wanted to go inside, half expecting it to look like the building from Men in Black. Who knows what kind of crazy shenanigans go on behind that mysterious door...

Today I found out that building is just a contact manufacturer. Such a let down.

Why, yes, my hair naturally grows in stripes

The other day a good friend of mine just noticed that I had parts of my hair dyed black. I’ve had my hair this way for some time now but he hadn’t realized (granted, he is a boy).

Anyway, I was just surprised that he had never noticed and wondered how many other people hadn’t noticed so I’m going to share my hair with the world and then no one will not notice again! I stole/was inspired by two dye jobs that I liked. I took the ideas that I loved and came up with my own attempt at an effortlessly cool style. It’s subtle when my hair is down and makes an impact when I pull my hair back.

(I'm really picky about my photos, so the creepy smiley face allows me to skip the trouble of trying to look good)

And regardless of whether anyone else likes it or not, I love it. Every day when I’m done blow drying my hair, I have the passing thought of how awesome it is. To me at least.

Although, I would like to point out that there is nothing cool about walking around the apartment like this for 30 minutes:

 

So far back that it wasn't in the day, it was before the day

Like so many other people, I have friends on facebook who I knew so many years ago and have never talked to since we "friended" each other. I honestly try to avoid that. Just recently I was home visiting the 'rents and I showed my mom a picture of a guy I knew way back when who has since turned into a total hunk. She immediately said I should friend him and I refused because that's just awkward to me. "Hi, I know we weren't that close freshman year of high school and we live in different cities, but you're really hot now. Let's be friends!" If I'm doing that then I might as well try to hook up with total strangers, from all over! (I do love me an Irish accent)

But I digress, this is not what I am here to talk about today. What I am here to talk about is the people that I have already friended on facebook. One of them I just heard from very recently. I found it a little odd that this is the 2nd time I've heard from him in.. 7 years? Although at some point since then we obviously both thought it was a good idea to be friends on facebook so why not. The first time I heard from him was a few years ago. I got a message from him with a basic "I just remembered the time when ___ and wanted to see whats up". I was pleasantly surprised and responded, asking how he was doing and what not. I never heard back so I assumed he wrote me drunk and then decided not to pursue it any further. No worries.

So this second time, while it was just a little comment, still caught me off guard. Mostly because it was about a note (the facebook kind, but what also became my first blog on here) which means that he took a full minute of his time to actually see what I had written (probably because porn was in the title - no judgement!).

There is a part of me compelled to now reach out and say hello (I like to play the catch up game with old friends), but I probably won't if we're being honest (which I always am). But it certainly got me thinking about the good ol' days which I feel like sharing in this now nostalgic state of mind.

This particular boy (L) and another boy (W) lived on my street. Then there were two other boys (M, MM). They were all friends before I so awesomely wandered into their lives. I actually had met MM in fourth grade. My best friend and I both had a crush on him. He liked her, not me. It was a sad time for me. I went to a different elementary school for fifth grade and promptly starting dating Alex Poore, the cutest boy in school. Suck it MM. Sixth grade we all ended up in middle school together.

Honestly, I don't remember how I reconnected with MM but I feel like it was partly through my best friend (who "dated" him up through 8th grade - probably on and off. I don't remember) and partly through L and W because we rode the bus together.

We all became good friends and I became a sort of honorary boy. At least that's how it felt. When all the boys got together at L or W's house, I got to hang out too. I loved those boys and we had some good times. If any of them ever read this, I would wonder if they remember "mango" (I will not divulge our awesome inside joke). I had my first "drink" with them. But you can't even call it that. I think we were in 8th grade (parents, dont judge me) and we were at L's house. He had a bottle of Kahlua of which was poured into a glass. I took the tiniest sip of that syrupy disgustingness and that was it for a few years (raging alcoholic). We also all carved our initials into a tree across the street. I like to take a peek and see if its still there when I visit home. I'm a girl like that.

I remember talking to W and L on AIM (haha, best ever) until all hours of the morning. One night in particular L and I were talking about how we would still be friends 10 years from then and it would be awesome. Well, we weren't friends about a year or so after that. Such is life.

As we moved into high school, it got complicated. Suddenly I was most definitely a girl and they were boys. I think at one point all of the boys had a crush on me. I am not trying to sound vain, but what do you expect when one of your closest friends is female at that age? It was when I started to feel something for one of them and then he went on vacation and came home and it was weird and the whole thing sorta went downhill from there. It didn't help that they all played football and became part of the cool, popular boys. Let's just say I didn't fit in with the popular girl (who of course hung out with the popular boys. Although I was never picked on by any means... it was more this time of my life that I realized I am not your typical female). Anyway, so that was that. We lived out the rest of our high school lives very differently from that point on.

I'm friends with MM on Facebook and I have *never* spoken to him. In recent months I had noticed an odd status update and so I looked into it and found out his mom passed away this year. So tragic. I wanted to send him a message but I felt silly (don't ask why, these human emotions are weird). But I feel for him and was so truly sorry to find out about his loss. We are too young of an age to have to be dealing with the loss of parents yet. I highly doubt he'll find his way over to my blog, but if he, or anyone who knows him reads this, pass on the message for me.

Anyway, there's a little trip down memory lane for you guys. Sometimes when I think back on those boys I wonder if they even remember that period of time when I hung out with them. It was so long ago that I was a part of that group and atleast three of them are still close friends. There's alot of memories that could have replaced those old ones. Regardless, I definitely remember and I am so grateful, as with all close friends I've had (and lost) over the years, that it lasted while it did.


I'm throwing in my 7th grade and senior photos for good measure. It's safe to say that I have blossomed since I left school.

Hissy hiss

The past few days I've had a reoccurring itch on my back between my shoulder blades. Today I noticed there's an area roughly the size of my hand that is really bumpy. I haven't changed my diet, haven't worn any new jewelry... I haven't done anything out of the ordinary. My only two conclusions are...

1. I am having the worlds slowest allergic reaction to nothing...

2. I am turning into a lizard woman

I think I can rock it.

“I don't believe in reincarnation, but I did in my past life.”*

If you looked up contradiction in the dictionary, you would see a picture of me there. I’m a walking, talking, breathing paradox. I literally can full-heartedly agree with both sides of an argument. My dear Italian friend and I were once having an intense discussion about me. He finally just leaned back in his chair, just gave me a look of hopelessness, and stated: “You’re a complete contradiction!”

It’s a talent for sure. I am a complicated and yet simple person. I am such a girl and such a boy. My mom and I like to describe me like a boy in the form of a girl. I love my 5 inch heels and makeup. I love to look and feel pretty. I also love to drink beer, scream at the TV when the Charger’s make a bad pass (or a good one!) and play video games (while wearing my heels and makeup, thank you). I think you get the point.

There has only been one moment in my life where I went completely over to the dark side (which is the girl side, btw). It was awful and I hope to never experience it again (no offense females of the world). When it comes to low points in life, especially low points in love, I am a very level-headed person. Unlike other females, I think with my head and not my heart. No, I’m not a cold hearted bitch without feelings. I feel all of them. However, I can always reason myself through those feelings and come out the other end happy and a little more enlightened.

Then I met that guy. He wasn’t *that* special. I mean, he was, but I eventually was able to realize there are going to be plenty of other special guys out there just like him. See? Reasoning and coming back to reality. Loves it.

To put it simply, we met. We hung out. I had an amazing time (I’m still not sure where he ever stood, but hey, you can’t know everything). I really liked him, and for someone like myself who is very outspoken and outgoing, he made me nervous and shy. I really wanted for it to work out. And then grand ol’ Life got in the way and it was ripped out from under my feet. For those few who were involved in the healing process of that one, I both thank you and apologize. It kinda wrecked me. I cried and I listened to a lot of sappy music. I barely *knew* him! It was completely ridiculous! You know how, in the movies, when two characters come together and by the end of the movie they are in love when in reality they’ve known each other for FIVE DAYS?! Absurd! And yet, I felt like that was me (without the happy ending). I couldn’t believe I was so upset over someone I had barely known. And yet, here I was… a mess because of some guy. I remember saying to my good friend: “I’m such a GIRL right now! I don’t know what’s wrong with me?!”

That one took a while to get over. Aside from the fact that I was completely not myself, I like to have closure in my life and I never got it. Since then I have vowed to never let myself be in that position ever again. I spent a lot of time analyzing what happened and how I ended up feeling the way I did. To break it down into basics:

-I had just gotten out of a relationship, and while I truly was over it, I didn’t give myself a chance to get used to being single again. It was too easy to shift the relationship comfort to another poor, unsuspecting guy.

-Do not ever be friends on Facebook with someone you are casually hanging out with. This is a new rule for me. If it’s someone I already know and then we start dating, I think I will just have to defriend them until after a 3 month period. If something goes wrong, you don’t want their face popping up and staring at you on that stupid news feed.

-I have always had a thing about trust. People are not trustworthy, even those you think are, they aren’t. Maybe that sounds negative but I can honestly tell you that I always know who my real friends are. I totally broke my unspoken rule and put my faith in this boy who I didn’t know. See how that turned out? Exactly.

-I got too wrapped up in the “what could be” and not the “what was”. This was the one that I hated myself for. While there were a lot of great “signs” there, there was also all the big, flashing red lights that this was not a good idea. I chose to ignore those. Mistake.

So, there you go. For a period of way too long in my life I was a full-fledged female. It was a horrible experience and I hope I never go through it again. Since then I am glad to be back to my boy/girl self. I am back to rock ‘n’ roll and all things generally awesome. It feels fan-frikkin-tastic (except that whole unemployment dillio).

Here's a little nugget of wisdom for the boys out there…

If you ever see a girl headed down this road (ie. She tells you that she really likes you and doesn’t want to get hurt) and if you, for ANY reason feel like you can’t step up to the plate, just end it. Talk to her, if you can’t talk in person, call her. If you can’t do that... email, text, facebook… there comes a point when anything is better than nothing. I don’t accept excuses, I only accept actions. Because, despite whatever lip service you give, not saying anything is *choice* and incredibly selfish one at that. So please…

**

As a side note, two Jehovah's witnesses came to my door this morning. I've never had this problem before so I opened the door without checking who it was first and was immediately stuck. Now, when it comes to telemarketers, I don't feel too bad cutting them off with a "sorry, I'm not interested" and hanging up. It's much harder to slam the door in the face of some tiny women. So we talked for few minutes and I kept trying to end of the conversation. Bitch was good. But she finally seemed to agree that no one was going to change my mind about how I feel about religion and it's probably not worth coming back, under the condition that she could leave two little magazines with me. I told her I would read them and I will. It never hurts to see another perspective. But I can also tell you that if I ever decide to pick up a new religion, it's not going to be one that I can't celebrate my birthday.

*Author unknown

**Picture stolen from The Art of Manliness. I haven’t checked out the site yet but I am intrigued and will do so at a later date.